Past Winners

Did you hear about the cannibal who kept getting stomach aches? He went to the 'good witch doctor' who couldn't figure out what was wrong. He gave the cannibal a medicine and sent him home.

The next day the cannibal came back to the witch doctor and complained of cramps and pains. The witch doctor asked him a bunch of questions and could not figure out what was wrong. As a last resort, the witch doctor asked the cannibal if he had eaten anything strange. The cannibal replied "No."

"Well, what are you eating?" the witch doctor asked.

"The usual," replied the cannibal, "You know just a couple of those Missionaries every now and then."

"Missionaries?" replied the witch doctor. "Just how do you cook them?" he asked.

"The normal way" answered the cannibal as he described the technique. "I boil a lot of water in the big pot, add a little seasoning, a few herbs and vegetables" he further related.

Well, that sounded right to the witch doctor so he pressed a little further. "So, describe these missionaries to me?" he asked.

"Well," replied the cannibal, "you know the ones, they wear those brown robes, wear those sandals on their feet, and they have that bald spot on top of their head."

"THAT'S IT!" exclaimed the witch doctor, "That's your problem! Those are friars... not boilers!!!"

My poor kitty bumped her head last night and I think I have to take her to the vet to get a CAT scan, or maybe even a PET scan. She's been showing signs of psychosis. She killed a bird and said, "the dog made me do it!"

I've been in love with a woman for seventeen years...

My wife would kill me if she ever found out!

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked.

"Alligator teeth," the Indian replied.

"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."

"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."