Past Winners

A foreign correspondent, did a feature story in a country in the Middle East, several years ago and before their was conflict there. She noted women walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the old regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

She approached one of the women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

'The woman looked her straight in the eye, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

Moral is, no matter what language you speak or where you go... Behind every man, there's a smart woman!

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank."

Passenger: :Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."

Cabbie: "There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

My wife curiously noticed that every time it was my turn to put the kids to bed they fall asleep in minutes.

I told her that when I play my guitar it works like magic putting kids to sleep.

She said I must be exceedingly talented because it works just like that with her as well.

The veteran politician, not known for his public speaking skills, was going to give a speech at the Olympics. He looked at the teleprompter and began, "O, O, O, O, O."

An aid quickly ran over and told him, "That is the logo sir."