Past Winners

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I find a HAPPY HOUR somewhere...

By the time I leave, I LOOK JUST FINE!

A successful businessman wanted to send his elderly mother a very special gift for her birthday, a rare South American endangered bird valued at $5,000.

When he called his mother to see how she liked the surprise gift he was shocked when she said, "It was quite small, but tasted very good."

He asked her, after her shocking reply, "Mom, that was a $5000 bird that can speak five languages and you ate him?"

"Well, if he could speak five languages he should have spoken up."

I submitted 10 puns to a pun website to see if I would win the top prize.

No pun in 10 did.

While out for dinner with my girlfriend, she started one of those "let's be honest with each other" conversations women are good at.

"I want us to be totally honest with each other," she said. "I really wish you would change."

"No problem!" I replied. "How about I change into your ex-boyfriend?"