Past Winners

Wouldn't the world be a better place if some people used a GLUE STICK instead of LIP GLOSS?

While at the casino, I remembered the sign that said: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."

I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"

When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the 'Painless' dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim.

"He's a fake!" Veronica told her friends. "He's not painless at all.  When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!"

A Grandmother asked her teenage grandson to lightly water the plants outside in the backyard, but to not wet the grass because the younger grandchildren wanted to go out to play in the yard. She didn't want the yard to be muddy for them to walk through. The teenage grandson happily said he understood and went outside to begin watering the plants.

A few moments later the Grandmother looked out the window and was surprised to see her teenage grandson using the water hose to spray water all over the grass in the yard. She ran outside to ask him why he was soaking the grass in water, causing the entire yard to turn muddy.

He replied, "To rinse the morning dew off the grass so it won't be wet when the kids come out to play."