Past Winners

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the sheep. "Your name is written inside the cover." 

Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.

As part of the admission procedure in a hospital, a nurse will ask the patient if they are allergic to anything. If they are, the nurse prints it on an allergy band that goes on the patient's wrist.

Once when the nurse asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, the woman said she couldn't eat bananas.

Several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses station demanding, "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'Bananas'?"

My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.

"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.

"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"