food jokes

Billy: Though my Aunt is very dear to me the truth is, no one likes her homemade pudding except you Johnny. Tell me why you always get a double helping and also take the leftovers home?

Johnny: I use it to patch the cracks in my driveway; it lasts for years.

Two cowboys were lost in the desert when they spotted a tree draped in bacon strips.

"We're saved!" shouted one cowboy. But when he ran up to the tree, he was shot multiple times.

It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

My niece, Sue, plans to open a discount grocery store where everything expires in a week...

She's going to call it Best By...

Pete: Someone just stole $125 worth of groceries from my Jeep!

Bob: Well, your Jeep has no top. What did you expect?

Pete: No, no, it wasn't that... I forgot to lock my glove box!