food jokes

Girl: I’d like a triple vanilla ice cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, and a lot of whipped cream.

Waiter: With a cherry on top?

Girl: Heavens no! I’m on a diet.

Little Johnny and his family seldom had guests, so he was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest.

Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise..."

"Ah! So sorry everyone," says the waiter, "I brought you Peeking Duck."