food jokes

I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from.

He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

I told the waitress my steak was bad.

She picked it up, slapped it, and threw it back down.

She said, "If it gives you any more trouble, let me know."

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day...

Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

My brother was having a tough time losing weight.

Our sister thought he should cut back gradually, so one day she asked, “Mike would you like to split a doughnut with me?”

Mike answered, “Want to split two?”