misc jokes

I was reading an article last night about fathers and daughters and memories came flooding back of the time I took my daughter out for her first pint.

Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house.

I got her a Fosters. She didn't like it... so I had it.

Then I got her a Carling Black Label, she didn't like it... so I had it.

It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider.

By the time we got down to the Scotch I could hardly push the stroller back home.

Teen #1: I took the girl you set me up with to a matinee, we watched the Wizard of Oz. Afterwards we went to brunch.

Teen #2: Sounds great, will there be a second date?

Teen #1: I don’t think so, during the meal she kept clicking her heels together three times.

I hate hotel bath towels.

They’re so thick I can’t close my suitcase.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princesses lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and shallot cream sauce.