misc jokes
Favorite this joke “I have the world’s largest collection of seashells...
You may have seen it, I keep it scattered on beaches all over.”
My lawnmower seized up so I took it to the dump and was told it would cost fifty bucks to recycle it. I didn't have the fifty so I brought it back home.
Later that night I got a bright idea so I put the lawnmower in the front yard by the road thinking someone might steal it.
Low and behold the next morning the mower was gone, my plan had worked. Couldn't help but brag to my wife about my brilliant idea.
My gloating only lasted one day. The next morning the mower had been returned minus the carburetor and the wheels.
A local doctor cares for a family who owns a funeral home.
When the father came in for a visit, the doctor greeted him, "It's good to see you."
His reply, "It's better to be seen than to be viewed."
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
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