My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker.
Then I realized she just wanted to do laundry.
So I folded.
"Push harder!" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"I hate you, I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone!" she screamed back at me.
Bit harsh I thought… it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital.
Teacher: "Children, there will be only a half-day of school this morning."
Johnny (in back seat): "Whoopee! Hurray!"
Teacher: "Silence. We'll have the other half this afternoon."