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Favorite this joke Freelance newspaper writers don’t get nearly as much attention as writers with regular bylines.
So I was delighted when I finally got some notice. It was at the bank, and I was depositing a stack of checks.
"Wow," said the teller, reading off the names of publishers from the tops of the checks. "You must deliver a lot of newspapers!"
One Sunday afternoon, President Coolidge was returning to the White House after attending church. He had gone alone, so upon arrival Mrs. Coolidge inquired:
"Was the sermon good?"
"Yes," he answered.
"What was it about?"
"Sin."
"What did the minister say?"
"He was against it."
One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portrait for a class assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.
"The head is too big," the professor explained. "The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous."
The next day, the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one look at my brother and said, "Okay, A minus."
Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.
He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backward and said, "You can't touch those babies, you aren't sterile!"
Without missing a beat my husband retorted, "Obviously, I'm not sterile!"
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