Best Jokes

Hmmm... I just found a strange piece of plastic on the floor that looks like it broke off of something...

But I have no idea what...

Better save it in the junk drawer until I die.

My father said, "Marry a girl who has the same beliefs as the family."

I said, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?"

An antelope and a lion entered a diner and took a booth near the window. When the waiter approached, the antelope said, “I’ll have a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes.”

“And what would your friend have?”

“Nothing,” replied the antelope.

The waiter persisted, “Isn’t he hungry?”

“Hey, if he were hungry,” said the antelope, “would I be sitting here?”

This is my step ladder...

I never knew my real ladder.