Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A stranger accosted an Irishman walking along a roadway in New Jersey. "Say, Pat, how far is it to Newark?"
"How did ye know my name?"
"I guessed it."
"Thin guess how far it is to Newark."
The young bullfrog, full of himself, went off to find a wife. He met a cute female porcupine, and quickly fell in love with her.
He told his father about his love, and his father was appalled! "Why would you want to marry a porcupine," he asked, bewildered.
"Well," said the young frog, "the elephant wouldn't have me."
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
You fall off the floor.
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
That darned pink elephant followed me home again.
Sally: Hmmm... there was something else I had to buy, and I can’t think of it.
Mary: Was it tuna fish... or cereal… or sugar… or coffee?
Sally: No, none of those things. Especially not coffee! I don't drink that awful stuff, it makes me nervous!
Mary: They have decaffeinated coffee, you know?
Sally: It's not the caffeine that makes me nervous... it’s the price!
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