Best Jokes

I lost my job as a spy. I was supposed to stand in a certain location and report if anyone picked up a package left on a park bench.

It began to rain badly and not far from my location I saw a park sign with a small roof over it. I took cover from rain for the worst part, but upon return to my post the package was gone.

Apparently my supervisors didn’t like my report when I reminded them the number one rule for spies is to remain under cover at all times.

SLOT MACHINES...

When you rearrange the letters you get, "CASH LOST IN ME."

I was at the hardware store to get a duplicate of my car key made when the store clerk said, “You’re a model?”

It was exactly what a woman in her mid-30’s wanted to hear. “Well, no, I’m not,” I said, blushing. “But, I’m flattered that...“

He stopped me right there, pointed to my car keys and slowly repeated, “Year…and…model?”

A man who hadn't attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing as was his normal habit.

The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service one morning told him, "How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!"

"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "Quite honestly, it's a matter of choice. I'd much rather hear your sermon than hers."