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A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, "I'm just cooking!"
Having too much sex can cause memory loss.
I read it on page 14 in a medical journal...
On the 14th of November...
2019...
At 3:19pm.
Teacher: "What does it mean when Astronomers refer to planets in the Goldilocks Zone?"
Little Johnny: "It’s planets with bears on it."
I know a guy who works as a custodian and gardener at a nearby apartment building, and sometimes I earn a couple extra bucks by lending him a hand when he's got a particularly big workload.
He's got some bad habits, though. He asked me if he wanted to share a joint while we were on a break.
I declined. I didn't want to deal with a high maintenance guy.
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