Best Jokes

Yellowstone tourist: "Look at all those big rocks! Wherever did they come from?"

Yellowstone guide: "The glaciers brought them down."

Tourist (cluelessly): "But where are the glaciers?"

Guide (wearily): "The glaciers ... have gone back for more rocks."

I don't believe in reincarnation...

I didn't believe in it the last time, either.

A lion was walking in the jungle and met two men. One is sitting on a rock reading a book and the other is working at a typewriter.

The lion ate only one. Which one and why?

He ate the man reading the book because everyone knows that reader's digest and writer's cramp.

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"

Only one hand shot up.

"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.

"'Unlawful' is when you do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is an eagle that's sick."