Best Jokes

A surgeon was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house.

The host deftly carved the turkey and said, "I'd make a pretty good surgeon, don't you think?"

The surgeon replied, "Anybody can take it apart. Let's see you put it back together again."

My doctor friend moved his family to a small town in Montana. An Italian American raised in Philadelphia, he wanted his kids to enjoy clean the benefits of air and the outdoors.

The locals were thrilled to have a doctor of their own, and were always inviting him and his family over for dinner. During one visit, one of his daughters told a rancher’s daughter, "We’re Italian."

Somewhat confused, the little girl replied, "We’re Ranch."

After years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back."

Two friends are in the living room. The wife of one of them is in the kitchen. "Sweetheart, please, can you hand us the bottle of whisky?" he says. And then, again, "Sweetheart, and two glasses please?"

The other man stares at him and says, "My gosh, how long have you been married?"

"Thirty years."

"Oh wow, and you still call her sweetheart?"

And the first whispers, "Well, I forgot what her name is!"