Best Jokes

A fellow married a woman, named, Ann.

Years later they divorced.

Now, he refers to her as "my Ann-ex".

I was flying between Toronto and Ottawa. It's only a 9 minute flight and so, to save money, I flew with a small airline in a little, twin-engine plane. About two minutes into the flight the pilot announced that we were going to have to turn back due to some engine trouble.

The nervous passenger I was seated next to turned to me and said, "If we lose an engine, how far do you think the other one will take us?"

I told him, "One engine? Oh, I'm sure it'll take us all the way to the scene of the crash. We'll probably make good time too. I bet we beat the paramedics there by at least a half hour."

Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson was constantly hungry. I went to the refrigerator to find something he might like.

After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I spotted a bowl of leftover chili. I called out to him excitedly. He came running into the kitchen.

"Look! I found some chili!" I said to him.

Struggling to be polite, he said, "If you're that surprised, I'm not really sure I want it."