Best Jokes

Frustrated, the teen storms into his sister's bedroom. "Why are adults are always asking us what we want to be when we grow up?"

Without hesitation the sister replies, "It's because they’re looking for ideas.”

For her birthday present, I took my wife to an orchard, and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.

Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

I rescued a cow from a slaughterhouse...

... I named them Jake from Steak Farm.

A police detective was at the house of a woman whose past three husbands had suspiciously died. "I heard your first two husbands died of food poisoning." he inquired. "What caused it?"

"Poisonous mushrooms." she replied.

"I see," replied the inspector. "And how did your third husband die?"

"He wouldn't eat his mushrooms."