Best Jokes

With all the additives they put in food today you have to be very very careful about what you eat.

Why just the other day I was eating at a fast food place and I found potato in my French fries.

I told my kids I never want to 
live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from 
a bottle.

So they unplugged my 
computer and threw out my wine.

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. "How are we faring?" asks the king.

"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."

"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"

"Oh, no..." says the knight. "Well, you do now."

What do you call a tree without any branches?

A stick!