Why did the spider cross the road?
Because it wanted to go to his web-site.
Life is like a Rubik's cube...
Easy to mess up, hard to solve.
While watching the weather update early one evening in the middle of January, the forecast was for partly cloudy the rest of the day and through the night.
Upon getting up and looking out the window the next morning, the man calls the station.
He then asks if they can send someone out to plow the 18 inches of "partly cloudy" out of his driveway.
A guard tells a prisoner, "You will be released from prison at 5 a.m. tomorrow."
The prisoner replies, "Can we make it 9 a.m.? I'm not up yet at 5."