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Favorite this joke What do you have to do to win gold at the weather forecasting competition?
I’ve heard you have to beat the raining champion!
My 14 year old daughter got up from the table after eating a bowl of cereal, so I told her to put the milk away. Then we had this exchange:
"Before you put that back in the fridge, why don't you plug it into the iPhone charger on the counter first?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, you gotta charge up that milk... it's only at 1%!"
What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.
Two men crash into each other at an intersection. The first man steps out of his wrecked car screaming, "You rotten driver, you wrecked my Mercedes! I'm a lawyer, and I'm going to sue you for everything you have!"
The other man responds, "You lawyers only care about money, you don't even realize you just lost an arm!"
The lawyer looks down where his arm should be and yells, "Where's my Rolex!"
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