Best Jokes

What’s the difference between a mirror and a chatterbox?
One reflects without talking, the other talks without reflecting.

What’s the difference between a 16 ounces and a pianist?
One weighs a pound, the other pounds away.

What’s the difference between a simple person and a pizza?
One is easy to cheat, the other is cheesy to eat.

My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access Google, and we told her it could answer any question she had.

Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom... think of something to ask it."

As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"

A friend asked what parenting toddlers is like.

So I hid her keys, headbutted her in the face, and then told her I love her more than the stars.