Best Jokes

The conceited young man had been in the hospital for some time and had been extremely well looked after by the pretty young nurse.

"Nurse," said the patient, one morning. "I'm in love with you. I don't want to get well."

"Don't worry," replied the nurse cheerfully, "you won't. The doctor's in love with me too and he saw you kissing me this morning."

I asked my 91-year-old father, “Dad, what were your good old days?”

His thoughtful reply: “When I wasn’t good, and I wasn’t old.”

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel...

If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream."

The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"