Best Jokes

HALLOWEEN FUNNIES part I
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit!

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.

What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein.

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream.

What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.

My son told his teacher the Indians could not possibly have served popcorn to the Pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving because they didn't have microwave ovens.

Three Boy Scouts, in uniform, were fishing in a boat one day when they heard cries for help. They followed the sounds and found another boat capsized as a man struggled to keep his head above water. Being Boy Scouts, they went to his aid and fished the man out.
As it turned out, the man was Bill Clinton. The president toweled himself off and caught his breath, and thanked the three scouts. He asked if there was anything he could do for them.
"I'd sure like a tour of the White House," the first scout said.
"No problem," said Bill. "How's next week?"
"I'd sure love to go for a ride in Air Force One," said the second scout.
"We'll leave aboard her tonight," Bill replied.
"I'd like to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery," said the third.
"I'm sure we can arrange that," said Bill. "But son, you're awfully young to be worrying about that, aren't you?"
"You don't know my Dad," the scout replied. "When he finds out I helped save your life, he's gonna kill me!"

Bill Clinton went jogging one evening and came upon the Washington Monument.

He said, "George, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, George replied,
"Abolish the IRS and start over."

Bill thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging. Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped there. He said, "Tom, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Tom replied,
"Abolish welfare and start over."

Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial.He said, "Abe, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Abe replied,
"Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"