Two clowns are eating a cannibal.
One turns to the other and says, “I think that we got the joke wrong.”
If I eat healthy today, then I can have one piece of candy as a reward.
If I eat unhealthy, I can have the whole bag.
A man is arrested for stealing a can of peaches and is brought before the judge.
The judge asks, “How many peaches were in the can?”
The man replies, “Six, Your Honor.”
“In that case, you will go to jail for six days, one for each peach.”
Hearing that, his wife stands and says, “Your Honor, he also stole a can of peas.”
What do you call a round, green vegetable that breaks out of prison?
An esca-pea!