Best Jokes

I never knew that laundry detergent goes bad.

But it seems the Tide has turned.

I went to visit my elderly grandmother.

I'll never forget her last words before she kicked the bucket.

She said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

I told my wife I had a crush on Beyoncé.

She replied with, “Well, whatever floats your boat.”

I'm confused because that's Buoyancy.

Last week I was bored, so I decided to swap around the labels on my wife's spice rack.

So far, she hasn't noticed.

Mark my words though, the thyme is cumin.