Best Jokes

My buddy loaned me an audio book, but I lost it.

Now I'll never hear the end of it.

Why can’t you put two half-dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a hole, and your money will fall out!

Alcohol and calculus don't mix...

Don't drink and derive!

Little Johnny didn't want to go to school so, he grabbed his father's phone and calls his teacher.

Little Johnny (speaking in a manly voice): "Hello, I want to tell you that John won't be able to make it to school today."

Teacher: "Okay, noted. But to whom am I speaking?"

Little Johnny (in deep voice): "You are speaking to my dad."