Best Jokes

Officer: "Why should you be released early?"

Man: "I’m..."

Officer: "Go on..."

Man: "I think..."

Officer: "Yes?"

Man: "Can I please finish my sentence?"

Officer: "Sure, if that's what you really want. Parole denied."

During a visit to our friend’s home in Canada, we were welcomed with a wonderful breakfast. But my six-year-old daughter was not impressed.

"Your pancakes are smaller than my mom’s," she told him.

He replied, "That’s because of the exchange rate."

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade…

And then you find somebody whose life has given them vodka!

At the mall, my five-year-old grandson joined the other children in line waiting to sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap. When it was his turn, Jake didn’t move; he just stared.

“Don’t you want to sit on the bunny’s lap?” I asked.

“No!” he shouted. “There’s a man in his mouth!”