Best Jokes

Little Mary's father was typing away at his home computer, when she sneaked up behind him. Suddenly, she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it?" her sister asked eagerly.

Proudly Little Mary replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

Things that always tell the truth:

Small Children...

Drunks...

Yoga Pants!

My house is not messy...

I have just set up obstacles for any burglar that might want to test their luck.

I have decided to RETIRE and live off my savings...

Though I'm not sure what I will use the second week...