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Favorite this joke Bobby: What is the difference between a lemon, an elephant, and a bag of cement?
Ray: I give up, what's the difference?
Bobby: You can squeeze a lemon, but you can't squeeze an elephant.
Ray: What about the bag of cement?
Bobby: I just threw that in to make it hard.
(Me) Now that I’m retired I finally have my very own 'Command Center'!
(Wife) It looks like a lazy boy recliner, a TV remote and a half eaten bag of Cheetos on an end table to me!
(Me) It’s a clandestine operation so don’t tell anyone!
(Wife) Don’t worry I won’t tell a soul! Just to clear things up though, is the arm chair law practice and the sports announcing gig a secret too?
(Husband to wife) If I could write a check for a million dollars, I could afford to be eccentric.
(Wife) Keep working at it honey, at this point in time you can only afford to be delusional.
How do you spot a crooked politician?
It's easy... Go to your browser, go to search images, type in politicians... It works every time!
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