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Favorite this joke Where I'm from, you don't see too many people hang gliding. Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge... into the wind he goes!
Meanwhile, his Maw and Paw were sitting on the porch swing talking bout the good ole days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen! "Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw raises up," Git my gun, Maw."
She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG... BANG... BANG... BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of Bubba!"
During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week, in the outdoors.
"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered, so I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine."
Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one heck of an outdoor woman!"
"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really bad golfer!"
Why was the artist the only one that could see her painting?
Because it was a pigment of her imagination.
She has the face that could launch a thousand ships...
And attitude that could sink them all!
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