Best Jokes

I called the pharmacist to get a prescription refill. After leaving a message on their answering machine they called me back.

The nice young lady from the pharmacy explained they needed the prescription number off the pill container because they didn't understand the medication dosage I'd described.

She looked it up and said she'd found the problem. It was 20MG Tabs and not 2 OMG tablets.

Mr. Jones visited the Widow Brown every evening and had tea.

"Why don't you marry her?" ask a friend.

"I have often thought about it," said Mr. Jones. "But where would I spend my evenings?"

Didya hear the one about the new show planned for TV's Food Network sponsored by the Arthur Andersen accounting firm?

It's called "Cook the Books"!

Two old men are sitting on a bench. A truck passes on the road. It is pulling a trailer loaded with turf. One of the men says, "See, that's what I will do when I win the lottery."

"What?" asks the other one confused.

"I will send my grass away for cutting!"