Latest Jokes

A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old castle. At the end of the tour, the guide asks her how she enjoyed it. She admits to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark, cob-web filled, rooms and passages.

"Don't worry," says the guide. "I've never seen a ghost all the time I've been here."

"How long is that?" asks the girl.

"About three hundred years."

On their 25th wedding anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner. Their teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for them when they returned.

After the couple got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"

"I suppose," the husband responded, "we could vacuum."

Research has determined that the shelf life of fruitcake is longer than the shelf itself.

TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR WIFE DOESN'T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS...

10. A car wash kit
9. A table saw
8. Two all-day passes to Best Buy's Home Theatre Installation Seminar
7. A case of oil
6. Five-year subscription to Sports Illustrated

5. Custom engraved bowling ball
4. New outboard motor for fishing boat
3. Rambo Trilogy on DVD
2. New satellite dish with sports package
1. Three-year membership to Weight Watchers Clinic