Latest Jokes

Christmas is a weird holiday. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

~ Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder.

~ Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.

~ Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the games.

~ Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (e.g., "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")

~ Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."

~ Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.

~ Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically, "It didn't work!"

~ Ring jingle bells maniacally saying, "Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings!"

One of my friends hates exercise. To her, getting up in the morning is a moving violation.

The only exercise she get is pushing her luck, stretching the truth, and jumping to conclusions.

Although, she has been known to carry a grudge.

What do you call the significant other of a Bohemian chess player?

Czechmate!