A group of tourists in Africa were enjoying a guided tour into bush country to observe the wild life. The guide announced, “Don’t be surprised if you see an elephant wearing sunglasses.”

One of the tourists asked why an elephant would be wearing sunglasses. The guide answered, "Well, they do this to so they can go unnoticed at the beach."

The tourist then said, "That’s preposterous! My hotel is on the beach and I’ve never seen an elephant."

The guide replied, "I guess it works."

The brain is the most amazing organ in the body. It works 24/7/365 from the day you’re born right up to the point you discover girls.

A man left the bar late one night after one too many drinks. He decided to walk home taking a shortcut through the grave yard. He fell into an open grave but failed to escape after many attempts.

What the man didn’t see was another guy from the bar who had previously fallen in and was curled up asleep at the other end of the grave. The guy woke up and said, “You’ll never make it out of here.”

Low and behold he made it out in one leap!

Father: You did well with your chores this week, how would you like a shiny new quarter?

Son: I'd rather have a dirty old dollar!