"Did you hear the one about the guy who was writing for an online joke site?"

"No, what happened?"

"Apparently the site kept rejecting his jokes due to poor grammar!"

"What?!?! Everyone knows perfect grammar can sometimes ruin the delivery of a joke!"

"This may be true but apparently you’re not allowed to dangle your participle on the internet!"

A man in a business suit was reading the paper on a crowded subway car yet no one sat within ten feet of him. A rather disheveled man sat down beside him and said, "I can tell the force is within you!"

The well dressed man looked over the top of his reading glasses and replied, "No, actually it passed about five minutes ago."

A young boy asked his father if he knew the capitol of Delaware, his father didn’t know. The father, trying to save face quickly, changed the subject and told his son not to over feed his guinea pig. The ploy didn’t work.

The boy then asked his father another question he didn’t know the answer to. The father said, I may not know the capitol of Delaware but I do know what sis boom bah is. The son asked, "What’s that?"

The father replied, "It’s the sound you’ll hear if your guinea pig explodes."

It’s so hot today that I saw a Robin pick up a worm with an oven mitt.