I have no problem buying tampons.
I am a fairly modern man.
But apparently they’re not a ‘proper’ present.
Father: Are you playing with that video game again? What about studying?! What about homework?!
Son: Ahhh, school is such a bore!
Father: Listen, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked ten miles to school! When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he did his homework by fire-light!
Son: And when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States!
I was just on the phone with a company that said I won my choice of either $500 or tickets to see an Elvis Presley tribute band...
I had to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show!
A bartender says, "We don't serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.