Past Winners

My teenage son treats me like a god.

He acts like I don’t exist until he wants something.

A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.

The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual."

"Why is that?" the mother asked.

"We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.

Anyone want to buy some exercise equipment?

I'm having a going-out-of-fitness sale.

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes...

And it was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 963 from LA to Tokyo.