Past Winners

In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens. He declares that he's been saved by divine intervention, so he's let go.

The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.

They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine. He looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem..."

"What would be the first thing you'd do if you had hydrophobia?" one resident doctor ask another.

"I'd ask for a pencil and paper," replied the other doctor.

"To make your last will?"

"No, to make a list of the people I want to bite."

Man: ”They’ll be changing the metric system soon!”

Boy: ”Uh, what’s that?”

Man: ”They’ll be changing feet to meters!

Boy: ”You mean, we'll be playing meterball?”

It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.

It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.