Past Winners

A co-worker asked if I knew what to do about a computer problem that was preventing her from getting e-mails. After calling the help desk, I told my colleague that e-mail was being delayed to check for a computer virus.

"It’s a variant of the I Love You virus, only worse," I said.

"What could be worse?" my single co-worker asked wryly. "The Let’s Just Be Friends virus?"

Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."

That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up. "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?

They ended in a tie.

A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller.

“What’s your kid’s name?” asks the bartender.

“Tiny,” says the lizard. “Because he’s my-newt.”