I saw a driver texting and driving...
It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
A solar-powered computer wristwatch, which is programmed to tell the time and date for 125 years, comes with a guarantee — for two years.
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?
The outside!
Teacher: "One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that?"
Little Johnny: "Future impossible tense!"