food jokes

Woman customer, pointing to a roast: "Excuse me, sir, but is this meat tender?"

Butcher: "As tender as my heart."

Woman customer: "In that case, I'll take a pound of sausages instead."

The manager of a restaurant called his wait staff together. "Okay, everyone," he said. "I want you all to look your best today. Greet every customer you see with a smile and a kind word."

One of the waiters raised an eyebrow curiously. "What's the occasion? Do we have some important people visiting?"

The manager replied, "No, the bread's stale today."

A man is walking across a bridge when he notices a little boy crying. Concerned, he walks up to the boy and asks, "Say, what's wrong, young fellow?"

"My sandwich fell in the water." the boy sobs.

Perplexed but sympathetic, the man says, "Oh, I'm very sorry, it must have been a very delicious sandwich. Was it with ham and cheese?"

"No." the boy sniffles.

"Well, was it with just cheese?"

"No."

"Was it with peanut butter and jelly?"

"No," the boy wails. "It was with my brother!"