misc jokes

I spotted several pairs of men’s Levi’s at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.

So I asked the owner if he had a pair.

He shook his head. “I’m still wearing the 33s,” he said. “Come back next year.”

If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If it just:

* sits in your living room,
* messes up your stuff,
* eats your food,
* uses your telephone,
* takes your money,
* and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place...

You either married it or gave birth to it?

Did you about the Antartian who said he would give his right arm to be ambidextrous?

Wanna see an idiot in glass?

Take a look in the mirror.