misc jokes

David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called.

A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, "Get me out!"

"Don't worry," David replied, "maintenance should be sending somebody."

"They did," said the voice.

An egg and a chicken sit in a doctor’s waiting room.

A nurse walks out of the office and asks, “Alright, which one of you came first?”

“Seriously!” shouts the chicken. ”Here, too?!”

Wife: Honey, I saved $1 off on a loaf of bread!

Husband: That’s fantastic! How did you do that?

Wife: Well, I bought a 10lbs bag of birdseed.

Husband: But we don’t have any birds.

Wife: Yes I know but the birdseed came with 50 cents off dog food coupon that I used to buy dog food.

Husband (frustratedly): WE DON’T HAVE ANY DOGS EITHER!!!

Wife: I KNOW! But the dog food came with $1 off bread coupon!

After participating in a nutritional-health class, my 16 year-old daughter, Sarah, encouraged her sisters to try whole-grain breads and whole-wheat pasta, and complained if we were having anything that looked too processed.

At dinnertime one evening, she entered the kitchen, spied the food on the plates and boldly asked: "Are those whole-wheat potatoes?"