misc jokes
Favorite this joke A man dies and goes to heaven. As he walks towards the heaven, he passes by the hell. His curiosity gets better of him and he peeks inside and sees people laughing, singing, a band playing heartily and people are all dancing. He thinks to himself, "If hell is this lively, I cannot wait to see what heaven looks like."
He proceeds and walks into heaven. Heaven is all quiet, serene, birds chirping, flowers blooming, sun is shining. He looks around and sees a man sitting leisurely under a tree. He walks up to him and says, "I just peeped into hell and there everyone was laughing, singing, dancing and they even had a band playing great music. In contrast, it's so quiet in here. The man sitting says, "What did you think? Should we have hired a band here too just for one person?"
What is a Pessimist?
The real world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience.
A nurse’s station at a hospital gets a phone call. The caller says, "I’m calling about Mr. Smith in room 403. How is he doing?”
The nurse replies, “His blood pressure went up and we treated him. He’s okay now.”
The voice asks, “Are you sure? I’m worried about him and was wondering if he’ll be at the hospital for long.”
“No, he’s fine now,” says the nurse. “In fact, he will be discharged tomorrow. Would you like to talk to him?”
“No thanks,” says the voice. “This is Mr. Smith in room 403. I’ve been looking for some information but there is never anyone around."
1. At a movie theatre, which 'arm rest' is yours?
2. In the word scent, is the "S" silent or "C"?
3. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
4. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
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