misc jokes

My friend is losing his mind over missing a piece of his 5000 piece puzzle.

If he thinks thats bad, I'm missing 4999 pieces.

She: "Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on."

He: "But sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."

She: "True, but I do."

- So many men, so few who can afford me

- God made us sisters, and Prozac made us friends

- If they don't have chocolate in Heaven, I ain't going!

- My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips

- Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog

- Coffee - Chocolate - Men ... Some things are just better rich

- Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really care anymore.

- I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

- Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.