misc jokes

While entering the elevator to heaven, a confused client accidentally pushed the down button. Arriving at the basement, the door opened to reveal the devil himself—sporting board shorts, relaxing in a lounge chair and sucking on a cold brew.

The bewildered client couldn’t help but ask Satan, “Is this how the lower level lives everyday?”

With his renowned devilish grin, Satan replied, “Hell no! Our Friday special is margaritas and blackened redfish, and Mondays are Karaoke night!”

Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.

After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.

Lying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping."

The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."

8am: Too tired to think.

Noon: Too tired to think.

5pm: Too tired to think.

Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?

"Darling, I just called to tell you how awesome you are. You really are the love of my life…"

"Sir, I’m sorry, this is a brewery!"

"Oh, I know…"