misc jokes

If someone threw a rock and knocked you off your Donkey,

Would you be stoned off your ass?

I got some Chinese symbols tattooed on my arm that reads, "I don't know, I don't speak Chinese".

So when someone asks what it says...

I get my cereal from a tiger, insurance from a gecko, toilet paper from a bear, financial advice from a gorilla.

It's people I don't trust.

A man was walking down the road when suddenly, a masked man jumped out from behind a bush and yelled, "Give me your money!"

"I have no money, I'm just a poor bookseller," the man replied. "Here, take my wallet and see for yourself." Upon looking inside the man's wallet, the bandit indeed finds it empty and walks off, grumbling to himself.

The next day, the man was walking down the street when the same bandit accosted him. "Give me your money!" he exclaimed. The man showed the bandit that he still didn't have any money and the bandit left again.

The next day, the man was walking down the road when the bandit approached him again. Growing annoyed and more than a little bit perplexed, the man said, "Look, you know who I am and that I have no money, so why even bother with me?"

The bandit replied, "I'm still practicing and you don't seem to mind very much."